The Dictionary... Because It's Got All The Other Books In It!!!
The Dictionary -- My Ambivalent
It can only be said thusly:
My dictionary & I have what can ONLY be called a LOVE/HATE relationship...
In that I must constantly look up words...
More often than not, NOT NEW WORDS!!!
Words, sadly, I know that I KNOW...
It's the god dammed definition that ESCAPES ME!!!
Ever so innocently, whether it be an old or new word,
I venture into the abyss, sometimes, never to be seen again!!!
Here is where the LOVE/HATE painfully/blissfully reveals itself!!!
As I, with occasional luck,
Leap to 'index' myself toward this word in question,
the book opens...
Then "IT" Happens!!!
Invariably a new (or old long forgotten one!!!) word,
Not The Word I'm Look'n For,
At this point is where I invariable exclaim, "SHIT," as my oh so Naive Gray
Mattter compels my upper extremities to halt the task at hand!!!
I stop & find & read the screaming new or old word
(That "Screams" at me that it won't wait!!!)
That just won't let me go until I have exhausted all it's attributes!!!
The definition I HATE THE MOST always begins with "Variant Of..." & then
goes on to show you the "variant of" spelling (usually just a letter or two different, mind
you &, more often than not, when the first letter is a vowel... well... hmm...
I GIRD MY LOINS & SAY, "That means I gotta' go to a WHOLE NEW SECTION!!!
Do I go to the section???
Of Fuck'n Course, DAMN, THE DICTIONARY DID ME AGAIN!!!
And Then There Are THOSE Times Werein I See Yet Another & Another & Another...
Til' Some, Most Embarrassing, Times Werein I COMPLETELY Forget...
THE ORIGINAL WORD(s) I WANTED!!!
© 030211 H.H., Vice-Cardinal Stephen James Crothers Esq. III D.D.S